I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
