That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
