do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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