Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
