He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
