This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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