idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
