i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she smelled like a LAN party
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
