Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
what day is it and did you see me today?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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