Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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