He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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