im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
