I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You took a bar mat shot.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
