yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
