so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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