ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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