me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
