she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
