Can i not drive my cunt home
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
