Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
