hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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