I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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