come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize