I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
