I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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