the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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