Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
