Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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