I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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