As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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