My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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