took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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