there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
