I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
