how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
