Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
