never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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