Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
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I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
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you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
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