Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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