Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
