I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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