Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize