And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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