She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
