He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
