When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
