Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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