Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
