We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
