Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
