Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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