TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we're so committed to being not committed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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