he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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