After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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