so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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