I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
