His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
