bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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