We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
you never un-have a 4some
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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