I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
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I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize