and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
