I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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