i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
