There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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